Waste of space - take 2

Do you ever get to the point where you think your head is going to explode?? Well I am totally there....I really believe the Lord has been teaching me A LOT of things recently, bringing A LOT of truth into my itty bitty heart, He has been revealing A LOT of areas of weakness/sin that I posess, and He is just kicking my butt with revealing more of who He IS to me. AHHHHHHHHHHH......I feel like I don't even know where to begin in processing all that is going on in my life and heart. I'm excited but incredibly frustrated at the same time. I believe there is sooooo much that He desires to rid me of and replace with His truth. Where then do I begin??? Help!!!
As I look at the "problem" that I am having with figuring out where to go from here, I am sooooo incredibly thankful that the Lord loves me enough to desire to make me new, to make me complete in Him, to allow His glory to be revealed in me, I mean, come on....Amanda from SandyLake, PA doesn't deserve any of the amazing things that the Lord has blessed me with. My life hasn't been easy any way ya slice it, BUT He has provided for every need, every ache of my heart, every loss, and every hurt. As I have been reflecting on Him and His prescence in my life I feel compelled to share some of the things that He is revealing to me, teaching me, and hitting me over the head with for the 1,000th time. (isn't funny how we can seem to be learning the same truth like all of our life and never seem to "get it") yepp, that's me! :)
I am doing a Bible Study with another gal and we are doing Beth Moore's Breaking Free Bible Study....oh my!! Good stuff. I did this study a few years ago, right after my mom passed away, and to be honest I don't really remember most of it cuz i was just in a hurting place. It's been neat to go back and start doing it again. This past week I was reminded of the fact that I don't get up everyday and live like I know who I am, whose I am, and what affect that has on my life. It's like I know scripture, I know God's truths about me, I can see Him working in my life, BUT I don't live in the freedom that is given to me as a daughter of the King! The following are a few truths that I just can't say I live like I know them to be true.
Benefits of my covenant relationship with God:
1. To know God and believe Him
2. To glorify God
3. To find satisfaction in God
4. To experience God's peace
5. To enjoy God's prescence
These 5 benefits seem like such easy concepts to understand. BUT when it comes down to it, I really don't wake up knowing these things, claiming them to be truth in my life, having my life reflect that they are true in me, etc. That breaks my heart knowing that I am not living the abundant life He desires for me and has graciously given to me!! How do we move from this state of knowing in our heads to knowing and believing with everything that we are and seeing our life, actions, words, etc. show that we are claiming these truths in our lives?????
What a wonderful gift we have as humans to know God, to accept His Son as our Savior, to lay down our lives before Him and allow Him to be on the throne of our lives, and to live in the amazing truths of being His children. He created us all to be in a relationship with Him and to know and believe Him, to glorify Him, to find satisfaction in Him, to experience His peace, and to enjoy His presence.....oh how I long to live like I know that to be true for me!!!!!!!! As I have been typing and reflecting I think my response to Him is just to meet with Him. As I pursue His heart, these things will be reflected in my life. As I pray, as I pour out my heart to Him, love Him, serve Him, He will make me new, He will allow me to become a woman who knows and believes Him, a woman who glorifies Him, who finds COMPLETE satisfaction in Him, a woman who experiences His peace, and a woman who enjoys His very presence! (See, these blogs are really for me to get "stuff" out of my brain so that I can understand it better) ~ BUT I do desire that the handful of people that read these ramblings will look at those 5 benefits and start praying about how those things can be true in your life, regardless of where you are at with the Lord. He created you, you are still on this earth for a reason, and He is not done with you yet! (think about that!!)
Waste of space-take 2........ummmm so apparently having all of the world-wide web knowing my issues with exercise and eating healthy is not enough accountability for me.....how can THAT be true???? Since that ridiculous blog I have not really changed any of my behaviors....again, how can THAT be true??? Why in the world do I not do what I know to do and do the very things that I know not to do. Again, Paul and I, coulda been bff's cuz I am JUST like him! I need help!!!!! Does anyone know of a personal trainer, that's free, that will stop just short of killing me to get me to eat healthier and kick my butt in the form of exercise???? And why does it have to take my life being threatened to get me doing the right thing???? waste of space, i tell ya, waste of precious space!!
OK.....if anyone has something funny to say, words of wisdom perhaps please do share in the form of a blog comment....blog comments bring joy to my very existence!! much like the show "the office".....ha! {jumped full-force on the bandwagon, ahhh like 3 yrs too late, but man am I super glad I joined....funnny stuff folks, funnnnnnnnnnny stuff!!! dwight....come on! the writers of that show MIGHT be the most talented people on the planet....where in the world do they come up with that stuff?!?!?} whew....what happened in my brain that got me on that tangent....sorry!