5K - What was I thinking?!?!?

It all started with a conversation I had with my friend Bethan. See, she is a machine. And she was trying to convince me to start training to a run a race with her. After much laughter from yours truly, I got to thinking...why not? So I made her a deal that in 2 years I would run a 10K with her. (She is headed to Guatemala with the peace corps for 2 years) I figured that I have a TON of weight to lose, but I want to do it healthily (is that a word? it is now!) Soooo, it's gonna take me a LONG time to reach my goal. So I thought 2 years seemed reasonable.

THEN enter Jennifer Staggers. I love her, but man, why did she have to have a "good" idea???? She suggested that her and I start training for a 5K, do one in the summer to start off with and then do a bunch more throughout the year. Then once I have that under my belt, why not start training for a 10K. My first response, like always, was LAUGHTER!!!!! But wouldn't ya know it, I ended up deciding it wasn't a bad idea after all. Sooooooo, yepp, I have finally put action behind my normally empty words and the training has begun. PRAY FOR ME!!!!!!

I have picked a program that I have heard a TON of good things about...Couch to 5K. Like it's title, it is supposed to take u from the Couch to a being able to do a 5K in 9 weeks....

There, I set a goal....I will meet that goal if it kills me! BUT i have a sneaky feeling that it will only make me more "alive."

These will help me reach my goal...but more importantly...

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. ~Philippians 4:13

It's AMAZING how one week can change your life!

A pic from my recent trip to the DR

I had the privilege of going to the Dominican Republic for one week, and let me tell ya, it has changed me! How does 7 days leave such an impact on one's life and heart? Since being back, I have had a lot of time to pray, reflect, and read God's Word and I sit here amazed that He allowed me to have the blessing of going. I'm a little nervous about what He is doing as a result of this trip, but also very excited too. I feel like He is calling me to be bold in telling others about Him. To look outside my self and truly put others before myself. I know that He is increasing my heart for the lost. And I know that He is telling me to take radical leaps of faith for His glory!

A precious boy!

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. ~Philippians 2:3-4

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.

~ 2 Timothy 1:6-9

Yolanda and I

I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

~Philippians 1:3-11

Ramblings....

Been doing a lot of thinking lately. Feel like I have entered a "reflective" season here recently...It's kinda weird...I feel like I haven't been my obnoxious self! Wonder how many people appreciate these seasons?!?!?! ha! It started before the trip to the DR, but intensified when I was there...it's often like I enter my own little "world" in my head...SCARY!!!! :) Although sometimes I appreciate these times because I think it's good that I am stretched and challenged by the Lord and that I am reflecting on all that He is teaching me. On the other hand it can get very overwhleming because it seems as if I can't escape from my thoughts!

Been thinking about my mom alot lately. There is never a day that goes by that I am not reminded of her, but recently it's been a lot more frequent. It's hard to believe that it has been 4 years, 4 months, and 6 days since she passed away. Some days the memories are soooo fresh that it seems like it was yesterday, and then other days I feel like I can't even remember what her voice sounded like. Today I was just reminded of how much the Lord has healed me and continues to heal me. I'm sooooo thankful that He met me the way He did the first few years after she passed away. I am who I am now as a result of the gowing up it forced me to do. I hate that she is gone but I am incredibly thankful for all the Lord has taught me as a result of the need to trust Him in ways that I never thought was possible. It's neat to see and know that in this loss He has received all the GLORY!!!!

I have also been trying to figure out how to be content in the place He has me. I have Life A, but I desire and feel like I was made for Life B. I often wonder how to live in Life A when I am soooo discontent and long for Life B. Does anyone else struggle with this???? Does anyone else have the "magic answer" to be content in where He has me/you when I/you desire something that we haven't been given??? If so, please enlighten me because I am tired of the battle that wars inside of me! I long to be a woman who is content in all circumstances. I desire to take what He has blessed me with and make the most of it...to live the abundant life He desires me to live...and not long for something else. It's sad to see how wicked my heart can be....

Also been learning a lot about what it means to know that my identity is found IN Christ. That is such a foundational truth for a believer...it's a shame that I don't live like I know that truth. Still grappling with this issue....maybe another blog to come about that.

Soooo anyone out there got some wisdom from the Word to encourage me?? That would be super great if ya got any! Ginny....I know u do, give it to me sistah! ;)

Dominican Republic

Wow...sooo I have had lots of requests for a new note/blog since returning from the DR...ya'll that makes me feel soooo special! But I think you are just being nice cuz you know that there was one coming whether you requested it or not! ha! hey, it's who God made me to be...I can't keep inside what He is teaching me, showing me, etc. sooo, here weeeeeeeee go.... (remember that a lot of you asked for it.)

Many of you have wondered how this trip compared to my trip to Ghana. Well, to be honest, it's kinda hard to compare the two. I feel like the experiences are completely different. My trip to Ghana will always be EXTREMELY special to me...it was the first time I had been overseas, I went alone (HUGE leap of faith for me), and it was the first time I got a real sense of God's heart for the world. My trip to the DR was a lot less scary for me travel wise, I went with a team of AMAZING people from my church (Crossroads peeps ROCK!!!), and this trip increased my heart for the world even more than I expected.

The trip started off great because I met three super fun girls on the plane who were from the DR but studying in Miami. (Sarah, Scarlet, & Laura) You gals were SUPER FUN and soooo helpful. Thanks for telling me more about the DR and for all the laughs! AND Thanks for speaking in English (some of the time) so that I could understand you! ha! When our team got off the plane we were met by two fantastic GO Ministries missionaries (John & Eric)! Seriously you guys were INCREDIBLE!!! Throughout the whole week they translated, took pics, shared their faith, encouraged us to be stretched in our spanish speaking ability (or lack there of), cheered us on at the construction site, worked at the construction site, talked about the DR and what things they have experienced, etc etc. I don't think there was anything that they didn't do! They seriously have the coooooolest "job" ever.... Lovin' the Lord and Lovin' people! Doesn't get any better than that!

Throughout the week we spent time lovin' on kids, worshipping with believers in 5 languages (crazy cool!), met and interacted with pastor Francisco and his family (as a church we are supporting him and committed to coming alongside his ministry in many ways), and began building a feeding center that will some day soon provide a meal for children 6 days a week. We also as a group got to know one another better and became a lil family (I LOVED getting to know all of you better and LOVED serving alongside of you too!!!)

I know this note/blog is kinda broad, but I am still overwhelmed at what I experienced on this trip. I have experienced anger, frustration, joy, thankfulness, confusion, love, peace, etc in my heart since the minute I stepped off that plane in the DR. It's been hard for me to "put my finger on" one thing that sticks out to me because it seems like everything we did hit me like a ton of bricks. I say that to warn you that there will be more notes/blogs to come as I continue to allow the Lord to work in my heart regarding this trip.

Here’s one specific moment on the trip that I will never forget. We went to a feeding center one day for lunch to help feed kids. (this would most likely be the only meal these kids would get that day.) It started off with us singing songs with the kids because the food wasn’t ready. It was a joy to see all their little faces, knowing that there were about to get a meal. (COME ON…..when do we EVER wonder if we are going to have a meal. The biggest concern we have is WHERE are we gonna go to get the meal – makes me sick!) Then the reality hit me….these kids get one meal a day IF there is enough food. I began looking at their faces in a new way…my heart was not filled with joy but rather with a deep sadness. We (the Americans) formed a line so that we could take plates of food to the kids….one problem, toooo many kids, not enough food. My heart just sunk…There was supposed to be enough food to feed about 50 kids, there were close to 90 in the room just waiting to see if they would get fed. As we started taking plates of food and passing them out, they separated the kids in 3 groups: kids sitting around the table, kids sitting on the back table, and then kids sitting along the wall. We were told to feed the kids sitting around the table first. DO YOU GET THAT….We had to walk to those kids first meanwhile that meant we had to pass others up.

I don’t know if you are getting a clear picture of this or not, but to say that it broke my heart is not saying enough of what it did to me. On one of my trips, I walked to the back of the room and as I passed a child that was sitting along the wall, he grabbed my pant leg, motioned his arms as if he was asking me for the plate, and motioned that he was hungry. I had to keep walking past him and give that plate of food to another child. That would be the moment that I LOST IT. I just got soooo angry. Angry that there are these wonderful, beautiful, amazing children that don’t know if they will get a meal. Why is this still happening in the world??? It just breaks my heart, it makes me want to go back and make a difference somehow, it makes me fall on my knees in the presence of the Lord, it makes me long for the day when there aren’t children starving, it stirs me to appreciate all that I have been blessed with, it allows me to see that I need to give more, be more, love more, it drives me closer to Him!

You know, I don’t know the answer, but I do know that I can respond to what I have seen. I am still unsure of what the Lord desires me to do, but I do know this, I am praying for those little faces, I am yearning for more of our heavenly Father, I am clinging to promises in His Word about how He will bless the poor, and I can’t wait to return to see those faces again!

You want to know the coolest thing that happened that day?? Do you?? Come on, you know you wanna know….the Lord provided enough food for every single child in that room to get fed! He is soooo incredibly good to provide the way He does. He is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!!!!!!!! It was like a miracle right in front of our faces. INCREDIBLE!

Whew….OK this is like a novel, and friends, it’s just the beginning! YIKES! I promise to only tag you in this one though….

Crossroads peeps – You have such amazing hearts and it was a privilege and a blessing to go on this trip with each and every one of you!

John & Eric – YOU GUYS ROCK! Enough said!

My new DR gal pals Scarlet, Sarah, and Laura – You were such a joy to meet. Be looking for an e-mail from me!!

Everyone else who will bravely read my ramblings – thanks for cheering me on in my desire to go to the world, thanks for lifting this trip up in your prayers, and thanks for being super great friends who I love dearly!!!

"Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."John 17:25-26