Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Asher is Awesome

This is my SUPER cute, adorable, fun, precious, giggly nephew Asher!!!







go-stay-move

where You go i'll go. where You stay i'll stay. when You move i'll move....i will follow You.

These are some lyrics of a Chris Tomlin song that I first heard when I was in the Dominican Republic this past summer. When I first heard it, I noticed the beat. Then I noticed the power in the meaning of such simple words...such simple statements...such simple ideas. It has become one of my favorite worship songs and will forever be a song that will spark memories of my 3 months I lived in the DR.

Shortly after I got back to the states, I would play this song over and over again. Claiming the words to be true of my life and heart. Thinking, Lord, if You really want me to go back to the DR to live I will go! This is what I thought the meaning of the song was....for me to be willing to serve Him in the DR. I have listened to it since and the words have taken on a new meaning to me. See before, I kept my focus on the word GO...that must mean I need to go back to the DR. Well, that may indeed be true, but I think the more important word in the song He is now showing me is stay.

Stay in this place....in my house....in my family....in my job.....but GO towards Him. Let Him penetrate my heart in a way I have never experienced before. Stay to deal with hurts and wounds so that I can receive true healing. Stay. Stay? really? For this season...for this time...for right now, I believe that following Him means staying right where I am. I believe staying is what will ultimately move me to GO where He is leading me.

I have decided to trust Him with some HUGE hurts, some DEEP wounds, to fall in love with Him all over again so that I can go and serve and follow as He leads. I have decided to run towards Him...to fall at His throne and soak up His grace, love, forgiveness, and mercy that He is longing for me to see and understand. I also believe that He is asking me to stay...lay my desire to go back to the DR at His feet, and trust that if that is where He wants me, it will come to be.

I don't know what the Lord has in store for me, my future, heck i don't even know if He will choose to give me a tomorrow. Right now, all I know is that I need to stay. Going back to the DR may be in my future....it's something that when I think about it I get excited. And if after a period of staying He calls me to GO then I will glady, joyfully, obediently GO. (is obediently a word?)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Long over due...

It's amazing to me to see how my blogging trends are indicative of the state of my heart. When all is right in the world of Amanda blogging occurs...a lot. When things in Amanda's world are "off" there is no blogging. My life has been really "off" since coming back from my trip to the DR. I guess you could say that I entered a little depressive state after I had been back for some time and I think I have just been sitting in that state. Still am, but atleast now I am aware of it and can admit it...out loud.

My weight follows a similar pattern....when things are going good, my weight decreases. When things are going not-so-good my weight goes up.

The real issue is this: the state of my heart dictates the state of everything else in my life, good or bad. If my heart isn't doing well then everything about me isn't going well and if my heart is in a good place, everything else is in a good place. Ever think about the sheer amount of verses in the Bible that have the word "heart" in them. I'm pretty sure it's because our hearts are super important. We are supposed to afterall "above all else, guard your heart...."

It's a new year....yay for 2011! I say yay, because I am ready for a fresh start, a new beginning, a clean slate...I am ready for another chance to guard what is most precious in me, to the Lord. I want 2011 to be the year that I actively, intentionally, and purposely guard my heart.