Death and loss - those 2 words have been a HUGE part of my life for the past 4 1/2 years. Those 2 words are a part of Ghanian culture daily. One of the key things that the Lord revealed to me when I was in Ghana was this: these people have NOTHING, yet they live like they have EVERYTHING because of whose they are. I can't begin to tell you how many people's stories I heard that death and loss is so prevalent in their life that it didn't phase them AT ALL. It's like it's all they have known. All the orphans I worked with were orphaned by AIDS, many of the women who were the Mommas to these orphans had lost husbands to disease, going to 3 church services and hearing about church members being remembered because of the loss of their life in the previous week, seeing different villages and meeting all kinds of people and hearing story after story of the loss that they have experienced. To say it was heartbreaking is putting it mildly, but one thing remained true of every single person I came across...they were praising the name of our heavenly Father for what they still have, the food that they can eat, the clothes on their back, and for the very fact that the Lord allowed them to have people in their life that they love and that love them.
In each face I found a story and in each face I found true joy and hope! Their joy and hope was not found in what they have or what they do, in fact most if not all of those people were blessed if they had a meal a day, a roof over their heads, etc. Their joy and hope is in the Lord! I have never seen that the way I saw it in these people. They are complete and whole because of who they belong to. OH HOW I LONG TO LIVE MY LIFE LIKE THAT!!!!! To know that I am complete, to know that my hope and joy is found COMPLETELY in Him!!!!!
One of my friends made a "your momma" joke to me yesterday. Well, my momma is no longer alive and they had kinds forgotten about that until after they told the joke. I actually thought the joke was pretty funny...and then he felt really bad afterwards. Then he asked me how I was doing this mother's day. To be honest, I had forgotten until I got back to the states that Mother's Day was this Sunday so I hadn't really had time to wallow in my sorrow like previous years! :) But after seeing what I saw in Ghana and meeting the people and hearing their stories it just broke me in a way that I never expected. I no longer desire to live my life asking questions that will never get answered about my mom's death, I don't want to live in frustration towards the Lord for taking her away "too soon", I don't want to miss my mom and long for her to be here with us again, I WANT TO BE THANKFUL for the the time that the Lord blessed me with when she was here. I was able to have my mom for 25 years...the orphans I grew to love, well, some have absolutely NO memory of their parents. Being an orphan is all they have ever known. Lisa Marie Shellgren was my mom for 25 years, my memories of her will last my entire life and I want to be thankful for that. I want to live not in what I wish I still had but in the joy and hope that is found only in the Lord.
hmmmmm....I guess you can say that I got more than I bargained for in Ghana! I never imagined that my life would be forever altered in the way that it has been. This is just one area that I thought to share about because it has had a huge impact on my life and well it's Happy Mom's Day on Sunday, a day that I usually pretend isn't happening. Well, this Mom's Day I am going to do something that celebrates the life of my mom and the time that I did have with her!
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