I'm such a sucker for a romantic comedy! When I saw the previews for the movie 27 Dresses without hesitation I knew that I would LOVE it! (I know...gag me....i'm such a girl!!!!) It had a hottie for the guy who played the LOVE interest and it just looked funny. The movie is about a woman who NEVER gets the guy and watches ALL her gal pals around her tie the knot, and has been in 27 weddings hence the title, 27 dresses. BUT you know right away in the end she will get swept off her feet and finally have the ONE dress that really matters in a wedding...sooo ridiculously predictable, but I loved it anyway! Especially the part where they sing in the bar...classic!
ANWAY...I can't even begin to describe how my life has mirrored elements of that movie in the past year. I have had more gals in my life utter the words "i'm engaged" then I have ever had before. Seriously...they are dropping like flies!!! I have lost count of all my friends now that are either married or soon to be wed. Let me give you some statistics to help put my life in perspective. Every roommate that I have had since 1997 is either engaged or married. All but one of the girls that I led in a Bible Study, when I was in college, hitched too. (do I need to mention that they are all younger than me?!?!?) I think, but may need to double check, that all the girls that I was IN a Bible Study with are married. (ok...not 2 of them...but still!) THEN let's count the girls that I led in a Bible Study while I was on staff with Campus Crusade...yeppp, all hitched but 2 I believe...and yes, again...all the gals are younger than me! Do I need to go on?!?!?!?
About halfway through my marathon of weddings I had at the beginning of the summer, I kinda had a lil itty bitty breakdown! (i blogged about this a lil bit ago) I think sometimes people just don't get how difficult it can be to live in this society, with all the pressures put on women, with all the reminders that it is a "couples word", and with all the reminders that one is single. I feel like I am constantly bombarded with it...DAILY. I work with married people, I spend a lot of my free time with married people (bound to happen when all your gals get hitched!), the church that I have been attending is mostly married people...I can't make this stuff up if I tried. I feel like I have been under constant attack from the enemy the past several months about this area of my life because all around me people are transitioning and it feels like I am standing still. (does that make sense) I have also seen that those who are single, start dating...those who are dating get engaged, then married....then those that are married start popping out babies....then they try for more babies! Then there is me...still single, still living in wv, still feel like the same ol' amanda...not dating, not getting married, not popping out babies....AND THEN......
***this is where it gets good***
I absolutely LOVE how the Lord has met me during this time!!! If you look at my surroundings and the people in it it's no wonder I have been struggling with being single. It's bound to happen considering just how many wedding I have attended and will continue to attend...not to mention some super fun baby showers in the future!! (Yay Ashley & Patrick!!!! Sooooo stinkin' happy for you two!!!) I will admit, that at first, I just got super frustrated, angry, bitter, etc during the time of me attending the bazillio weddings in a row. Then me and the Lord just had a special moment together and ever since that wonderful night when I just took off down the interstate, my heart and my life haven't been the same. My outlook on my singleness has changed...honestly!! My outlook on my life stage is changed...the way I view myself has changed...the way I view the Lord has CHANGED!!!! Hallelujah!!!!!!!
I have really been challenged by some truths that I have been learning. I have realized that I have for the past several years put my faith in circumstances and not in the Lord Himself. Do you realize how crazy that is....when we put our faith in our circumstances no wonder we experience frustration, anger, bitterness, resentment, etc. Our circumstances are messed up because of the world we live in...we live in sin, therefore our life/heart is gonna be wounded as a result of it. It's just the way it is. There will ALWAYS be things we don't understand, there will always be questions with no concrete answers, there will always be things that make us ask the question why? BUT do you realize that there is ALWAYS A FATHER THAT REMAINS THE SAME?!?!?!?! If we place our faith in Him, our constant source of truth, love, grace, etc. then our circumstances come and go without leaving us destroyed. Life is an out of control rollercoaster without the Lord...why in the world would we ever trust in that....I realize that I may never understand why certain things have happened and continue to happen in my life. (my mom passing away, being single, struggling with my weight, etc.) BUT the one thing that I know to be true is the character and promises of OUR amazing creator never change. His love never changes, His grace is never kept from us, His strength is never withheld, HIS PROMISES ARE CONSTANT AND TRUE NO MATTER WHAT OUR CIRCUMSTANCES ARE!! HE IS CONSTANT AND TRUE NO MATTER WHAT OUR CIRCUMSTANCES ARE!!!!!
I have really been challenged to by faith daily seek Him and His truths even if it is hard, even if it seems like He is silent, even if it is seemingly easier to ask why and search for an impossible answer...I was watching a Beth Moore video the other day and she made this statement: "We are always interested in God changing our circumstances but God is interested in changing us". I am now getting to the point where I am glad that I am single because I know that ultimately He is using this time to change and transform me into more like His Son!! Why would I want my circumstance to change when I know that He is using them for my good and His glory?!?!? I want to be changed by Him...I desire to be refined...I desire to grow and be molded by my heavenly Father. That is way better than any husband!!!!!
I am now able to, because of the changes that the Lord is doing in my life and heart, truly rejoice with my gals that are getting married, or just did get married, as well as the ones who are having children. It's such a neat thing!!! With strength from Him, I am able to have complete joy alongside them as I see the Lord move in their lives in special, amazing ways. AND I have realized too that the Lord is moving me into new places...into new depths of knowing Him, into new truths that He has lavished sooo generously on me. PLUS...I am pretty certain that my trip to Ghana most likely never would have happened, so praise Him who is doing a mighty work in and through me and in the lives of others around me. His purposes and plans are AWESOME and it's such a blessing to be a part of it all. (a small part...but a part nonetheless)
Whew....oh my...all that to say....God is doing some amazing stuff in my life and I pray that you will be challenged/encouraged by the truths that He is allowing me to see in a new and fresh way! the end. :)
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