"New Building" - yeah right!

ok...sooooooo I have been going to Crossroads Church now for a lil over a year. I have found fellowship there, have had my heart increased for missions there, and have found solid biblical teaching there. It has been such a blessing to be a small part of that church family, but recently it has been hard. The church just purchased a moved into a new church building. The previous church that was in that building was New Beginnings Community Church!?!?!? DOES THAT NAME RING A BELL?????? *sigh*

For those of you that don't understand what I am talking about here is the brief edited version of a very long story: I found out about that church during the first year I lived in Morgantown. Attended it after 7 months of going to another church and ended up staying at New Beginnings for 3 1/2 years. Also for 2 of those years I was on staff at the church. During that time there were 4 MAJOR things that I went through: Dating Lance, Losing my mother, and then eventually breaking up with Lance, and also eventually leaving the church under not so positive circumstances, but definitely God-directed (which left me churchless, fellowshipless, and jobless). Of course there are loads and loads of other things I could type regarding those 3 1/2 years but I did tell you that i was giving you the brief edited version, so I'll leave it at that.

So needless to say, this past Sunday was a celebration for everyone else in the Crossroads Church family, but not really for me, when we had our first service in the new building. For me it was a constant reminder of those past 3 1/2 years and all the loss and hurt that I experienced. I have been wondering why the Lord has allowed me to have this going on in my life...I don't think it's a coincidence that I am where I am...I just would rather to never step foot in a building that stirs in me what that church building stirs in me. I would rather not be reminded of the most painful 3 1/2 years of my life. I would rather not be reminded of the constant loss I experienced and the deep deep wounds that loss has left on me.

So yay for Crossroads Church! Glad that the Lord is moving in ways that are soooo clear and evident...but really bummed that I can't quite enjoy it the way that I believe I should. I'm praying that I will be transformed even more during this season of reminders and that one day I can truly rejoice about it as well.