The Cost

"If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." - Luke 9:23

"And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." - Luke 14:27

WoW!!!! Those are some SERIOUS words of truth! In fact sooo serious that they scare the living daylights outta me! Do you people know what those verses really mean??? Do I know what those verses really mean???? (I think I see glimpses of what they mean and it is SCARY!!!!!!)

These are things/thoughts/actions etc. that happen in the day in the life of me:
*think about what it would be like to be married
*I eat food that is not healthy for me
*I waste time on facebook
*wish that I was RICH so that I could afford nice things for my house
*Stress over the fact that I don't have curtains in my kitchen or spare bedroom
*feel incomplete becasue I am not a wife and mom
*get jealous at friends who have the hubby and child(ren)
*sleep
*exercise (sometimes)
*Think about exercising! ha!
*watch tv
*work for Chesnut Mountain Ranch
*long for my knight in shining armor to come and rescue me from my singleness
*think fondly of my time in Ghana
*have random memories/thoughts about my mommmz throughout the day
*think of all the people that I know and love
*say no to things that inconvenience me
*get mad at things that in light of eternity are meaningless
*want to give someone the finger for the way that they are driving (I don't actually do this, but some days I get close! jk) I just get REALLY frustrated at stupid drivers!
*I sometimes AM a stupid driver
*listen to music and dance to the beat!
*again, pray for my hubby to find me!
*think about my family
*send a few e-mails
*etc etc etc etc etc

The point I am trying to make is this: I don't take up my cross daily and follow Him. I am way more concerned with whether I am going to get married or not, or whether I communicate to that driver that I am irritated at him just pulling out in front of me, or that I say no to the friend that asked for help because I am too selfish with my schedule and time. I am more concerned about how I feel that what I know is true. I am more concerned about what would make ME happy. I am more concerned about being the person everyone likes. I am more concerned about keeping my mouth shut than giving truth that might offend someone. I am more concerened with being lazy. I am more concerned with how good that doughnut tastes....it's ALL ABOUT ME!!!! Do u get it???? Do I get it????

The verses mentioned above tell us to die to ourselves....we lay everything at His feet and are not tempted to pick it back up before we get caught laying it there....WE MUST DIE in order for HIM TO LIVE!

Oh how I wish that the list above (and things I failed to see or mention) simply said: I deny MYSELF, and take up my cross daily and follow HIM!