God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him

I LOVE this picture. A sweet girl named Clare, from KY took this of me the week I was in the Batey's helping out with a medical clinic. I was not aware of the camera...I am so glad she took this photo. It gives me chills actually.

From my very first trip to the DR (March '09) up to present day (Sept '10) I can't keep track of all the people that have told me what they see in me in my trips to the DR. Things such as: "You have joy like nothing I have ever seen before", "there is a passion in side of you that comes out in the DR", "the true you is seen in your DR pictures", "the love of Christ pours out of u there", "You have the joy of the Lord in the DR"....and I could go on and on and on.

When comments like this first started I just kinda brushed them off....oh, it's only because I am really white compared to the people there or it's cuz I am sweating. (Both are very true!) But the more and more I have been told that the more I feel like the Lord is telling me to really listen to what they are saying....really try to grasp what they see....to understand that He is using them to speak truth into the parts of my heart that doubt resides in.

I know it may seem silly, but have u ever tried to view yourself how others see you. It's hard. And what I find to be EVEN MORE DIFFICULT is viewing me how Christ sees me. Tis my thorn people! BUT I think the Lord is using these comments (and they are a plenty!) to show me how He views me....that when I am most satisfied in Him the more glory He receives...if I light up by serving in the DR and loving the people there, it's Him they are seeing not me. When I have joy, it's Christ in me being revealed!!! Now that is some truth I wanna take to heart!

When I look at the picture above, I get a tingling feeling all over....I remember that day, I remember those kiddos, I remember the silent prayers I prayed over their lil lives, I remember how my heart skipped walking in the Batey's, I remember feeling the joy of the Lord flowing through me, It makes me long for Him....to reveal Him to others...to be and do what He has created me to be and do....it makes me love Him more!

Thank you for all your comments...YOU have been a huge help in me seeing myself as He sees me! Gracias!

back. numb. food. decision.

I have been back in the states for over 3 weeks now. Sure doesn't seem like that is possible. I am having an interesting time of transitioning back to "normal". There have moments where I have hated being in America, or when I am numb to just about every feeling/emotion, and even moments of joy. (ok, to be honest most of the joy has been when I have remembered something that happened when I was in the DR and I jump at the chance to share it with someone, anyone who is within hearing distance and breathing.)

It's hard to put into words just what spending 3 months in the Dominican has done to me, my life, my heart, my future. Even now being back for a Hott Minute, it's still pretty difficult to articulate anything about my experience. This is a very new thing for me to experience. I would describe it as a weird numbness...i dunno. maybe, hopefully one day soon I will get out of the fog I am residing in to allow others to know what my time was like in a way that a human can understand. (me shaking my head and mumbling doesn't quite give an accurate picture of the state of my heart!)

I wanted to share something pretty sweet that happened while I was away. though. so. here. i. go.

You all know how my struggle with food has been ALL my life...and I mean like even when I was in the womb ALL. It's like the idea of food, the ability to "control" what I eat and don't eat has loomed over me like a rain cloud over Eeyore...you know, like when He can't get away from it, he doesn't have a home to hide in, and his tail is missing. That's kinda how I have felt ALL my life. While in the DR I was not controlled by food. Heck, I didn't even really think much about it. I ate what I was given, ate only until I was satisified, didn't snack much at all, and ate plenty of fruits and veggies. (Some may say, oh Amanda...you must have not enjoyed Dominican food and that's why you lost so much weight...on the contrary my friends! The cooks are FANTASTIC and put most everbody I know to shame. They gots skillz yo!)

IT WAS AMAZING! (not just the food but the freedom I experienced)

It was a sweet surprise from the Lord...spending 13 weeks out from under the bondage of this nasty thing...oh the freedom! An encouraging verse that I came across during one of my last weeks in the DR was this: "Do not destoy the work of God for the sake of food" - Romans 14:20 Oh the nuggests of truth, the amount of applicable things to take from such a simply stated verse. No amount of any sugary goodness can compete with the work of God!!!!!! I have said before (this was actually something the Lord taught me on my first trip to the DR) that I can't do what He is asking me to do if I am at an unhealthy weight....right now I am hindering the work of God because I have given into the "cravings" of my sinful nature....and these happen to be food cravings. (get it...cravings....oh i crack myself up!)

In all seriousness though....just think about the implications of that verse...there are sooooooo many ways you can apply it....I would love to know your thoughts about what you believe that verse is saying to you, so by all means, please share!

ANYWAY....I could type for days about what I have seen the Lord do in my heart in this area so I think I will apare you and stop for now.

On a more intense note: I decided to wait to make a decision about my future....go back to the DR fulltime or stay in the states, in 6-8 weeks after my return. I want to be sure that I am hearing from Him and not making an emotional decision. (me emotional? ha! All of you that know me know that it is wise for me to wait, so I am) I am praying, reading His Word, reflecting on my experience, and seeking wise counsel. No matter where He leads me I know that I know that I know He is right there with me, ready to love me, challenge me, stretch me, mold me, and provide for me in the place He is leading me to. What an amazing thing to know that, to believe in it, and to trust in it!

"home"

*warning*

This is me "verbally" processing so I may think differently tomorrow...don't judge, k?

I don't want to be here.

I need to be here because this is where He has me right now.

I don't care about wordly things...it makes me angry when others do.

I want soooo desperately to live my life with purpose...intentionality...I want every moment to count for eternity...I don't want to settle for mediocrcy...I don't want to take the easy route...I want to take leaps of faith for Him...I want my life to matter.

I want my life here in the states to somehow morph into life in the DR and not have a divided heart.

I would give ANYTHING to be back in the DR right now.

I don't want to be numb...I want to FEEL something, anything.

I want to feel alive...I want to shine for Him...I want to be who He longs for me to be, who He is transforming me into...I want to live for Him and Him alone.

I want to long for Him.

I want to be content in the very place He is asking me to be...to be doing His work as He leads me...to be abiding in Him...to be remaining in Him...to be loving and serving others...to be on my knees at the very mention of His name...

I want to know what He has for me...I want answers...I don't want to wait patiently...

I told you this was me "verbally" processing... *sigh*

back...

Thanks for all the prayers for safety as I traveled back to the states. I arrived on time with no glitches with flights so that was good. My dear, sweet friend Jeanette picked me up (it's a lil tradition for her to be the first one to see me once I have returned back to the states from overseas). After an enjoyable dinner with her and car ride home, we stopped off to visit her wonderful hubby and our great friend, Ditty.

It was super great seeing familiar faces, ones that have become my family here in WV...my heart is conflicted though. I long to be with my new family in the DR too...please continue to pray for me as i adjust to being back in the states, to this culture, pace of life, etc etc. I can see that it is going to be really tough.

More to come...

Updated DR Pics

A few weeks ago, some friends from Crossroads came down on a week long trip and I joined up with them for another trip to the Batey's to continue the work being done on the Nutrition Center in Batey Cuchillo. Here are some pics from that trip. Enjoy!

Every shovel full of dirt is one step closer to kids being fed.

How refreshing to see old friends in the DR.

New friend, Poton, who I will miss dearly.

My friend Franci - u will ALWAYS have a special place in my heart!

The WALLLLLL of the Nutrition Center....yesssss, there are finally walls!!!

Thanks everyone who gave, prayed, and came.

stunning

precious

my friend Roberto. We shared many smiles and laughs!

Clara is a kindred spirit!

Yolanda - what a beautiful, godly woman.

Me and Pastor Francisco's kiddos. This was right before Franci clung onto my leg and started crying because he didn't want to say goodbye to me. About broke my heart....

Me and some of the fun gals!!!!!

Finishing Strong

I am having a difficult time understanding exactly what this means for me. I have one more week here in the DR and currently I am bed sick, again, and am unsure what my last week will look like. I thought that finishing strong meant staying strong, working hard, and pushing the most u can push until the end...like in a race...sprinting the last mile. However what I have come to realize that ministry isn't like running a race all the time.

Sometime finishing strong does mean working your tail off until the end, but I think for me this week, finishing strong looks like the following:

*resting when I am told to rest.
*encouraging those around me to continue serving and loving they way they are called to.
*spending quality time in His Word.
*journaling about what He is revealing to me and teaching me.
*prayerfully joining the team that is coming in and coming alongside them in the journey the Lord has called them on while they are serving here in the DR for 1 week.
*laughing and connecting with the Nationals that I have come to know and love.
*thanking the staff for all the encouragement and support that have given me the past 3 months.

So what if I don't pick up another shovel or fill another water jug...yes those things have been daily tasks that I have loved to do, but maybe the Lord has other plans for me for my last 7 days here. I think I have learned this summer that He is in every single detail, every seemingly mundane task. He is the orchestrator of our time here on earth, so I don't want to sit and be sad because I am not able to leave my bed right now, I want to see Him in the midst of it all. I don't want to miss out on all that He has to show me and all the ways He desires to use me.

One thing I will challenge you with is this: look for Him in everything. Have the eyes and heart to see Him working in the midst of silence, in the midst of chaos, in the midst of frustration, in the midst of tragedy. He is at work all the time!

Time, where have you gone?

It is 11:20 am on Tuesday, July 20th and this means one thing. I only have 4 more weeks left here in the DR. This place has become home. The people have become family. The staff have become kindred spirits. The culture has gently nudged it's way in my heart permanently. I have a feeling that this means I should get some Kleenex's pronto!

It was a lil over a year ago when I began to serisously consider coming here on the internship, followed by many months of not being sure, to jumping on a plane just 2 short months ago, to now only having 4 weeks left. I was reminded the other day of just how faithful the Lord has been in EVERYTHING leading me up to this day. From showing me how faithful He is in the little things and the BIG things to providing in ways that still make my jaw drop to the floor!

No matter the end result of my time here, I know that this journey was for a purpose. That He will use the things that I have learned here to continue to shape and mold me into who He desires me to be and will use my time here and the relationships that I have built for His purposes and His glory. I consider it a privilege to have the opportunity to be a small part of His HUGE plan.

Going Home - Trip to the Batey's

This past week I had the joy of going back to the Batey's. This is the place that I have been on my first two trips here, so it will always hold a special place in my heart. I have come to know people there and feel like they are my family. I have been anxiously waiting for the chance to go back since I first arrived in Santiago, but I knew that it would be awhile before I would have the opportunity to go. Welp....I finally got to go! It was a great week. There was a group from KY that came to do a medical clinic in 2 of the Batey's so it was a very busy but fruitful week. We sorted meds one day, then hosted 2 days of medical clinics, then had a day of evangelism and VBS. I had the priviledge of seeing 2 people come to know the Lord, hundreds of people received medical care that they wouldn't have otherwise gotten, children laughed and played with the Americans, and many hearts were changed as a result of the week.

It was a week full of joy and sadness. The sad part for me was going to Batey Cuchilla and seeing the feeding center that my church has committed to build. The building is the same way we left it after our last trip in November. It brought tears to my eyes to see that nothin has changed in 8 months. It also breaks my heart to see a place that is in so much need not get help. Out of all thr groups that have come this summer to serve with G.O. only 3 are going to the Batey's. And only one of those groups is doing construction. That means that children will still be going without food....hearts will still be broken....and lives will be lost. If we don't go, then who will? If we don't give, the who will? If we don't pray, then who will? Will you?

Feeding center in Batey Cuchilla

Humility is hard but OH so worth it!

About a week ago I hit my breaking point. This is a very good thing.

I realized a BIG sin issue I had in my life was controlling me and affecting those around me. It was pretty ugly. What's interesting is that it took being wronged for me to realize it. I have always been the type of person that is caring towards others. It kills me to know that I have the power to hurt and tear down. I can deal with being the one that is hurt, but I can't deal with the fact that I hurt others. I was consistently being hurtful and not really aware of it until the Lord revealed that to me through a misunderstanding where I was wronged...

I am sooooo incredibly thankful for how the Lord is in the business of changing and transforming...I don't want to be me, I want to be who He desires me to be. I am blessed to have a Father that isn't satisfied but that wants me to be like His Son and lovingly guides me towards that. I know I will never fully arrive, but I am thankful that I atleast get to be on the journey because that means He receives ALL the glory, honor, and praise as I continue to be molded into the likeness of His Son. It's not a pretty process or a fun process, but oh the joy that is found along the way, wouldn't change it for ANYTHING!

I am also thankful that He gives me and others the ability to forgive lovingly and graciously. Boy oh boy, what would I do if that wasn't true!?!?!?!

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient; bearing with one another in love" - Ephesians 4:2

B-ball in the DR

This past week I had the privilege of helping out with a basketball camp. I coached 12 boys on the Verde team. I helped lead a rebounding station in the mornings and then coached my team in games in the afternoon. Not only did we try to teach the boys basketball skills but we also taught them about the Lord. I was able to share verses in the Bible that relate to playing sports but more importantly are applicable to life as well. My main focus for the boys wasn't to win, but to glorify God in all they did. I had soooooo much fun coaching these guys...I pray that the things I taught them from the Word will leave an indelible mark on their hearts.

Team Verde - Go GREEN team!!!!!!!

Coach Witcho in action with team Blanco

I love this lil guy!

My team looks tough don't they?!?!?!

I was super nervous to coach at the beginning of the week. I was the only female coach so I wasn't sure if I would be received well...girls in sports is becoming more accepted in the DR but still not many girls play sports. I am also a lil rusty. I haven't coached for several years so I wasn't too sure if I would have much to offer these kids. I am in awe of the verse in Philippians, which I have had memorized since I was in high school: "I can do everything through him who gives me strength". I have known the verse but saw it lived out this week. Even with the language barrier, the fact that I am a girl and rusty at coaching, He gave me everything I needed in order for Him to be glorified through me this week!