A lil Motivation

It's funny to think back a few months ago at an event that has changed my life in a drastic way. And what I am about to tell u may seem silly, but it is really the reason that things in my life have been changing.

picture it: I am in the Dominican on a mission trip. We are at the construction site of the feeding center we went over to build and we were told that there were some baptisms happening and that we were gonna go to witness them. Pretty cool huh! BUT WAIT...how are we gonna get there u ask. Good Question. Normally we went on a mini-bus type thing because of the size of group we had. It was like any normal vehicle u and i have been in. One problem. The mini-bus thingy isn't going to pick us up to take us to the site of the baptism because it is already at our destination. Sooooo...that means that we all have to hop on a water truck to get to the baptisms. Doesn't sound bad does it? Well not to a personal of normal weight and mobility. Which by the way did not describe me at that particular time in my life.

So as I am eyeing up the water truck that we were going to have to "hop" on, my heart sank. I subtly tried to figure out how in the world I would get my big fat caboose on this thing. After several minutes of debating this in my head I came to the realization that I would be staying overnight at the construction site cuz there was NO WAY I was gonna physically be able to get on this thing. And I was not about to ask for help either. (Toooooo embarassing!) THEN, I hear murmors of them putting the kiddos in the front of the truck. That's it, i thought...i'll hang with the kids. (there was a step on that part of the truck, so not difficult to get into. It was then that I heard angels singing.....ok maybe not, but that was opportunity to not look like a complete cow of a woman. Sooooo like the servant I am, ha!, I graciously offer to be with the kids in the front. That was the moment I realized that I have a serious problem....

I don't know how to explain it, but it was such a hindering feeling those few minutes I internally debated about how I was going to hoist myself onto the water truck. It was that moment that I will never forget. That was the moment when I realized on a whole new level just how much my health and my weight keep me from living. I have said this before, but I feel like I am trapped in a shell of a person that isn't really me. Because of my weight I hesitate to try new things, I am constantly wondering if I will fit here or there, or if someone will notice this constant debate I have in all social situations, wondering if my size will somehow affect me in anyway. THIS my friends is NOT living.

I also came to the conclusion that my weight can keep me from doing things the Lord is calling me to do. (side note: I almost didn't go to the Dominican because I was ashamed of my weight and I knew that it would negatively affect me on that trip) Instead of the Lord controlling this part of my life, this part of my life has controlled me for too many years. It's not just about how I look, it's about the type of life I have because of my weight...it is not a life I would wish on anyone!

Because of that moment in the DR, because of the Lord gripping my heart with His truth, and because I don't want to live the type of life I have been living this area of my life has changed dramatically! Praise the Lord! I have now lost 30.5 pounds and am THRILLED! I have also been changed in my heart and mind, and that is stinking awesome because that means the physical change is just a result of the heart and mind changes! That means it will stick this time....it's not about getting to a smaller size (although that is FUN!), it's not about being viewed as pretty, it's about glorifying the Lord with my body that belongs to Him. It's about being available to live the life He desires for me.

One more thing: I decided as a way to keep motivated and excited about this journey, I would "reward" myself for every 10 pounds I lose. Soooo, here is a pic of my first 2 rewards.

The necklace charm has my initial on it and the ring says "Nothing is impossible". This necklace is a constant reminder of the journey I am on...With Him, I can do anything and everything. Nothing is impossible! I'll be sure to post a pic of my next "reward" :)

the perfect storm, AGAIN. ~ 27.5, WHAT??

the perfect storm

nov. 24, 2004 was the beginning of 3 very hard years in the life of amanda. what began with the loss of a mother, turned into a time in my life where loss was a popular theme. It also began a faith journey like none other for me. I began to ask the Lord tough questions that I have yet to find answers to. let's say that my perfect storm was not enjoyable and i never wanted to repeat it or have anything like that happen again....well, apparently we don't always get what we want. (duh amanda)

about a month ago, all the pieces were in place for the perfect storm to return and park itself right over me with no end in sight. I can't explain it...i don't understand it...i hate it...i am wondering why it's back...

in the midst of this storm i find myself in, i am holding on by a thread to the truths that the Lord soooo lovingly gave me in the midst of the initial storm. i fear that as i struggle to hold on, that my strength will fail me. guess it's a GREAT thing that His strength is what matters. it's His strength that will keep me in the fight. it's His strength that will get me out of this storm as a changed woman. so in the meantime, i am holding on for dear life praying that the storm will end but trusting that He has BIG things for me to learn and grow in.

27.5 pounds gone, WHAT??????

For reasons that can only come from the Lord I am getting smaller and smaller as the weeks go on. It's crazy!! I have been shocked...

at the results of my hard work. BUT I know that it's not me who is getting through each day making the right desisions for my body. Someway, somehow He has gripped my heart and has begun this change inside of me that is being reflected on the outside. I can't even begin to explain it. BUT I LOVE IT! Lately I have been tempted to pick up that tasty treat to bandage wounds, but before I can even go beyond the thought of eating, the WORD comes flooding into my brain and my heart and it allows me to see that that tasty treat is just that. it's just food, not a bandaid.

1/2 Marathon...22...James...Ranch

whew...lots and lots going on lately. Where shall I start? I guess at the 1/2 marathon. and NO WAY am I talking about myself, just so ya know! Last weekend I got to be at the finish line while my friend Jeanette completed her first 1/2 marathon! It was soooooo exciting! Here is a pic of her crossing the finish line like a CHAMP:

I am sooooooooo PROUD of her. She set a goal to do something she had never done before and she did it! I was literally crying as she crossed the finish line. What a cool thing to be a part of in her life!!!!! YAY Jeanette! Can't wait until the next one you run in! ;) Below is us after she ran...doesn't she look stunning. Wish I looked like that after running...i'm a hott mess, but she is gorgeous as ever!

I am happy to report that as of June 8th I have lost a total of 22 pounds. I was just thrilled when I stepped on the scale that Monday. I had run harder and more the previous week than I have done before and it paid off!!! I know that I have a TON more to lose, but I am just sooooo excited to be headed in the right direction! I can't even begin to tell you all that I have been learning during this short 8 week process, about myself and the Lord. I've said it before and I'll say it again, without Him it would be IMPOSSIBLE for me to lose weight. It is His strength in me that has gotten me to where I am right now. I look forward to the long journey I will be on and I am super excited to continue learning more about Him as He transforms me physically, emotionally, and spiritually!!!!

James - I'm really pumped about a Bible Study that I am in. We are doing an Inductive Study on the book of James. I LOVE LOVE LOVE detaily things and that is exactly what this study is ALL about! Not only is the Word alive and exciting, but this Bible Study is also a great way for me to connect with other women! I'm loving it and look forward to the challenge!!!

BUSY BUSY BUSY - Things are movin' and shakin' at the Ranch (where I work). We have 2 HUGE events coming up next week, so it's a stressful, hectic, yet exciting time for us. Be prayin that God will get all the glory in the details of next Thurs and Fri. That His name will be made known more than any of our special guests names, or even the Ranch's name. It's because of Him that the Ranch will have any impact on this community, state, and the lives of the people involved.

I Gotsta Brag

Here are some of the latest pics of my nephew Asher!

This is my ABSOLUTE favorite. He is soooooo stinkin cute, I can hardly stand it!

I think this MUST be the reaction he has EVERYTIME his mommy and daddy mention his Aunt Amanda. I mean, who doesn't have that reaction when I am mentioned?!?! HAHAHA!